Slut - Woodruff Jettie - Страница 61
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“I thought Ophelia looked like me until I met this kid. She’s definitely got more Delgardo than Pierce.”
“I know. It’s crazy. I think it’s a twin thing,” I said and then shifted my focus with the shift in thoughts. “Where did you go, Paxton?” I questioned as my eyes closed, finding peace.
“When?”
“You know when. When you left. Don’t do that.”
“I went to the home Izzy grew up in. I wanted to take you there, but she said no. She said she didn’t want to be a part of Izzy’s life anymore, that she tried to help her, but she wouldn’t let her. Izzy stole a lot of money from her, and a necklace that was family heirloom. She’s not letting that go.”
“She was sick.”
“I know, but she did give me a box of her things, pictures and stuff. She said she didn’t have any need for them.”
“Where are they?”
“I dropped it off at the UPS store with Van’s things. I went by her place, too, hoping someone saved something. They didn’t. It was rented to someone else a couple months ago. They sold what she had to pay her back rent.”
I turned to Paxton and placed a hand on his cheek. “Thank you for trying. Thank you for all of this.”
“Tell me you love me.”
“What?” I asked with a frown.
“You never say it back. I tell you I love you all the time and you never say it back.”
“I do, too. I just said it today.”
“No, that was a, yeah, yeah, love you, too.”
“Same thing.”
“No it’s not, Gabriella. Tell me you love me. Look into my eyes and tell me you forgive me, and you’ll be here to keep pushing me to be a better person.”
“I don’t push you to do that.”
“You do. You make me want to be a better person. Tell me you love me, Gabriella.”
I took a deep breath and shifted my eyes to my hand on his chest, pondering the simple gesture. “I didn’t know that I did until today.”
“You didn’t know if you loved me?”
“No, I mean, I knew I did, but not enough to put it out there like you do so freely.”
“What does that mean? You think I’m bluffing?”
“Not anymore. Not since you pulled me into the men’s bathroom and let me cry all over your shirt for ten minutes without a word. I love you Pax, I am so madly in love with you, our life, and our family. I’m so stoked to make new memories.”
Paxton lifted my chin and kissed my nose, and then my lips. “I promise to make them better than the ones you forgot.”
I grinned and kissed his lips, snuggled into his chest, and slept. I’m not sure I moved the entire night. I rested better than I had in weeks with my sister’s Clyde right next to me.
~~
I knew by the time we landed back in Tampa that Paxton would no doubt love another man’s child, because he was already falling. Vander was extremely interested in the pool graphics that Paxton worked on. Paxton was more than eager to tell him about it. Vander wanted a waterslide like that with a secret tunnel. I don’t think my smile left the entire flight home, and then I cried. I literally had to get up and walk to the bathroom.
“Look what I got for you,” Paxton said when he remembered his gift from Mi.
“I already gots one. My mommy has one, too. You have one, too, Gabby. My mommy said so. A Indian with big feathers gave it to my mommy, and your mommy, and you. Like me,” Vander said as his black rock clicked with Paxton’s, creating an instant smile across his little face.
I didn’t remember that, and I wanted to. How ironic was it that my mom believed in the same magical stones that Mi believed in? I went to the bathroom and cried. Where was my stone?
Paxton never mentioned the incident, not once all the way home. He asked me if I was okay, and that was it. We never discussed it again.
Vander fit into our family like an old glove, joining Rowan and Phi like he’d been there from the beginning. Even their first encounter was like they were old cousins who’d known each other for years. Phi showed him his dinosaurs and they spent hours in the pool. Rowan and Phi even played in it more because Van loved it so much.
It wasn’t all peaches and cream though, far from it. It was either Vander and Ophelia fighting, or Rowan and Ophelia. Never Rowan and Vander. Ophelia kept calling him Mini-Van, thanks to Paxton. I swear that girl didn’t forget anything. Vander hated it. Of course that made her do it more.
I spent three full days tangled up in love. Only one thing could have made me happier, and that was my sister. If Izzy would walk through that door and claim her son, I would have been the happiest girl alive. I thought about her all the time, and I continued to search every missing profile site out there, but I never had a lead worth pursuing. She was just gone, vanished into thin air.
Everything moved along just as it should have, an entire week of getting used to Vander, of Vander getting used to us and his new surroundings. Even Paxton seemed happier, more playful, and somewhat less stressed. He didn’t even get upset the way I thought he would the next night when I decided to watch the video that Nick wanted me to watch alone. Two more, and I would never get another hint of my memory again. I guess I was grateful for having them. They weren’t the best memories to recollect, but they were all I had.
Paxton told me to go at nine when we were still trying to get the kids to settle down. He wasn’t really invited anyway, and I was sure from the sounds of the giggling, it would be a while. Why they loved wrestling him to the ground so much was beyond me. They had fun and filled the house full of laughter, so I guess that’s all that really mattered in the end.
I made myself a drink and walked up with Paxton’s laptop under my arm. Everything had pretty much been laid out there. What more could there be? I could handle it and we would get through it, just like the other times.
The air was cooler than I expected it to be, but I covered up and stayed outside. Once I was set up and ready, I hit the download link like Paxton always did.
“Hey, Nick. Thanks for hanging out with my cubs the other day. They love you. Where’s Mi? What’s wrong?”
“I feel like you’re moving in the right direction, like you’re going to be okay. We can stop now, Gabby. It’s okay to stop.”
“Is it bad?”
“Yes, it’s a game changer.”
“But I have a right to know.”
Nick nodded with a deep breath. “That’s why I’m here. I’ve been arguing with myself about this all day, trying to talk myself into getting rid of it before anyone else can see it.”
“It can’t be that bad, Nick.”
“It is, Gabby.”
“Well, I want to hear it.”
“Do you want me to stay on?”
“No, you can go.”
“Okay, I’m a phone call away.”
“I’m fine,” I said with an assuring tone. My words sounded more confident than I felt. I was strong on the outside, but felt like a bowl of Jell-O on the inside, waiting with anticipation.
“Gabby, can you hear me?”
“Yes, I can hear you Lane.”
“We’re going to pick up where we left off, and Nick is going to attempt to erase part of your memory today, but first I need to ask if you if you’ve ever been with anyone else, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Have you ever been with any other men, Gabby?”
“You mean sex? I kissed someone once. On the lips.”
“Before or after Paxton?”
“Oh, it was way after. Ophelia had just turned three.”
“You did? Who was it?”
“His name was Chip. Paxton hired him to teach me to cook because I didn’t cook a roast the way he liked it. He called them in front of me, signed me up for a cooking lesson, and made me go every Saturday for two whole months. Only the joke was on him. Chip was an amazing chef, but he was also a bartender. I had fun with him. A lot of fun. He taught me how to make so many drinks, I could run a row of shots without spilling a drop. He said I was a natural. It sort of made me wish I could get a job, be around people, and have friends.”
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