Slut - Woodruff Jettie - Страница 39
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“Nick’s ready to kill me. Like I’m not even joking, like dead.”
“I don’t know what to say, Mi. I didn’t mean to get you in trouble. I honestly didn’t even think about it.”
“You know Nick’s like a computer genius, right? He’s already hacked into my computer. I guarantee it. I’ll bet you a million dollars they’re all gone.”
“I’m not sure I want to learn anymore anyway. Maybe Lane’s right. Maybe I should just forget it, get Vander and move on. I’m so sorry, Mi.” I couldn’t say it enough. I couldn’t believe that I had done that. I tossed Mi under the bus without one thought of Nick finding out.
“Ugh. I’m still mad at you. I gotta go, baby’s coming.”
“I’m sorry, Mi.”
“I know. Forget it. All he can do is kill me, right?”
“Why you sorry, Mommy?” Ophelia asked from the backseat when I hung up.
I looked at both of their staring eyes through the rearview mirror. “Because I told a secret that I promised Mi I wouldn’t tell.”
“Why?” they wondered aloud in unison.
“I didn’t mean to.”
“What was the secret?” Rowan wanted to know.
“Nothing, you wouldn’t understand. Adult stuff.”
Ophelia groaned and rolled her eyes. “I hate adult stuff,” she spouted.
I went about the evening the same way I did my day, never letting Paxton see me fall. I laughed with the girls, ate supper as a family, read two of the new books, and then took a walk along the beach.
Thanks to Mi, I had to go into Rowan’s room so we could recharge our stupid stones. I willed Paxton’s to charge with a slow moving stomach virus. One that made him want to die. I wouldn’t even look at him. I kept my attention on the silly chatter between the girls, and away from his stares.
I’d just gotten out of the shower and into pajamas when I watched him close the door in his office. Probably because he wanted to tell more lies and secrets without me hearing. I tucked the girls into bed, both half asleep already, and went out to the patio from my room with a drink.
The air was cool, and the sky was cloudy. Not a star in the sky. Even the moon was hidden by a haze. I wondered if Mi was right, if Nick hacked into her computer and got rid of everything. Did I care? Did I really want to know? I thought about a lot of things while I searched for answers, staring out to the deep dark sea, holding its own mysteries. I heard his door slide open from above, and almost got up and went inside.
“I’m from Texas,” Paxton said from above my head.
I didn’t look up, and I didn’t reply.
“That’s nice. Where am I from, Paxton?”
“Jesus, Gabriella. I’m trying to communicate here, tell you something you don’t know. Stop being a bitch.”
“So you tell me you’re from Texas? You and your friend had your way with me, and you want to tell me you’re from Texas? What the fuck is wrong with you?”
“Come up here.”
“No, fuck you, Paxton. I don’t want to be anywhere near you.”
“Well, tough shit. We have a family to raise, and a little boy to tend to.”
Of course he would throw that in there. Stick the knife in the middle of my back while he used our innocent children, and a promise I made to my sister as a pawn. “You think I can’t take care of these kids by myself? I’m perfectly capable of raising them on my own. Women do it every single day.”
“Like I would ever let that happen. I would kill you first.”
I shook my head with the laugh. “You suck at making things better.”
“Come up here and talk to me. We can make it better, Gabriella. I know we can.”
“Or what, you’ll just kill me? Can you see me down here shaking?”
“Come up here and run your mouth like that.”
I knew he was half kidding, but he picked a bad time to do it. “Fuck you, Paxton. You’re not my boss. I don’t have to do this with you. I have choices.”
“Yes, love, you do, and I’m trying to hand some over to you. It’s been this way from the beginning. Can you work with me here?”
“I don’t want some choices. I don’t need you to make my decisions for me.”
“Yes you do. It works for us, Gabriella. I’m trying to make it better. You could stop acting like a bitch and try, too.”
“Okay, sure,” I snapped, arms crossing as I slumped in my chair. Hopeless case. I shut down, giving up on fixing anything with him. Paxton had a one track mind. His. That was it.
My phone lit up from the table, alerting me of a new, one word, message from Mi. Sent. That was all it said, and I knew what she meant. The next video was in my email.
“Come up here, I have the video set up.”
Of course he did. I was sure he knew I had an email before Mi ever texted me. “I don’t need any of this, Paxton. You don’t have anything I want, except for those two little girls in there. That’s it.”
“Please come up here.”
“I deserve better than you, Paxton. There’s a man out there that would love me like I want to be loved, like every woman deserves,” I said with enough attitude to prove a point, yet not overboard.
“No man will ever love you like I do, Gabriella.”
“I hate the way you love me.”
“I wish I could take it back, go back to the beginning and start over. You came into my life at a bad time. You were exactly what I needed at exactly the right time. I played my hand totally different with you than I did with Tatiana.”
“What does that mean?”
“Come up here. Let’s watch the video. I’d rather hear it from your perspective.”
“I’m so mad at you Paxton,” I admitted as my eyes moved up and tears burned behind them.
“I’m sorry. Come here. Please.”
Just like the idiot that I’d always been around him, I bit the hook, and he reeled me in. Dumb little fish. I walked up the steps with crossed arms, and a standoffish attitude, ready to take on the world, or at least Paxton. He wasn’t waiting at the door like I had expected him to be, he was out on the balcony, seated on the love seat. I don’t know why that made me mad. I would have walked right by him anyway. That didn’t mean he couldn’t be respectful.
I sat beside him with enough distance between us to fit both girls without speaking one word. The blanket from the back of the sofa worked great as a barrier, and that’s exactly what I used it for. An obstruction to keep from being too close to him.
Paxton gave me a look and then opened the email, only there was a message from Mi first. Nick wanted us both to sign a nondisclosure, promising that neither of us would talk about the videos to anyone other than us, and that in no way possible could we hold him responsible. We both electronically signed it, and waited for the next email. A video that would cause more pain, more agony, yet had to be done. I even tried to consider myself lucky. Not all amnesia patients had a library of recorded videos. Yup, I was the lucky one. Silence occupied the space between us, almost as thick as the tension while we waited for slow poke Mi to send it over.
I smiled when I looked down to my phone and read her message.
Mi—This wasn’t my idea.
Gabby—Idea? What did you do, Mi?
Mi—It wasn’t me. You should have kept your mouth shut. You okay?
Gabby—Yes, Mi.
Mi—Want to do lunch next week? I got the girls a new stone. I want to give it to them.
Gabby—Yes, for sure. What did you do?
Paxton opened his hand for my phone and I handed it over with a ‘fuck you’ glare.
“What? Now you don’t think I should have access to your phone either?”
“I gave it to you, didn’t I? How about you give me access to yours? Show me what else you’re hiding?”
Paxton looked at me through narrowed eyes while he slid his phone from his front pocket.
I didn’t respond because I didn’t know how. I wasn’t expecting that, not even a little. I smartly swiped it from his hand and he offered the password.
I don’t know what I expected to find, but Paxton was sort of a work-a-holic, and as much as I hate to admit it, a family man. That’s what I looked at. I started with his text messages, but they were all to me, or guys he worked with. I almost smiled when I went to his photos, but kept it hidden. I didn’t want to smile. Paxton didn’t deserve that side of me, yet we did look like a happy family. Anyone looking from the outside in, would see that, and then I was gone. Rowan and Phi filled his phone and I was a ghost.
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