Tainted Black - Williams Shanora - Страница 28
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I glanced up. Margie’s head was slanted. When I didn’t say anything, she walked forward and sat beside me. “Sweetie, you don’t have to talk, but I just want you to know that whenever you think you need to, I’m here. I know your mom isn’t around and your dad isn’t in the very best state of mind to take in your problems on top of his own, so if you need an ear, I’m always here.” Her chubby cheeks spread, grey irises full of kindness.
“Thank you, Margie. I appreciate that.” She nodded but remained seated as if she knew there was more. Surprisingly, I continued our chat. “I mean, don’t get me wrong, I have been thinking about Theo—”
“That’s his name?” She pointed towards my window.
“Yes…”
“Ahh. You call him by his first name. I see my eyes weren’t deceiving me. There’s much more to that kiss on the cheek, huh?”
I huffed a laugh. “A lot more. How can you tell?”
“Let’s just say I may have dealt with a situation like the one you’re in. Goodness, it was so long ago, but I can remember everything.” Silence fell between us. I assumed she was thinking of whomever the man was, remembering every single detail like I did every single damn day.
“He isn’t the reason I’m upset, though,” I murmured.
“No?”
“No. It’s just Dad. I feel so awful for him. For Mom not being here, him being alone. It kinda sucks, you know?”
“Oh, honey, your dad will be okay. Trust me, he’s a strong man. Just very stubborn on the days he can’t remember much.”
“Is it supposed to be that way?”
She shrugged and sighed. “It could be worse.”
“I bet you hate your job now, huh?” I laughed, teasing.
“You know… it’s actually not so bad. Mr. Knight is a good guy on his good days, and I was fortunate enough to meet his sweet daughter. I swear I thought I was going to have to deal with two stubborn people when I heard you were coming home. I was kind of scared.”
I snickered. “Nah… I hear I can be pretty laid back like him.”
“You have a lot his traits, but when it comes to love…” Her eyes softened. “I think you get that from your mom. The testing of boundaries, wanting what you know you shouldn’t have. What you don’t need. Trust me, I know.”
I wanted to frown, but I was too stuck on how spot-on she was. She knew so much about us. It was strange. I felt like I’d met her before, a very, very long time ago. Way before my memory could ever be established. “Did you—did you know my mom personally?” I squinted my eyes in her direction.
Margie stood, looking down at me with a faint upward curve on her lips. “Your mom was my roommate in college. We used to hang out a lot even after you were born, but… certain things set us apart.” She sighed. “She chose me to watch over your dad because she trusted me—knew I wanted to be a caregiver and nurse.”
“Wow… it’s kind of like she had this all planned out.”
“Well, I don’t mean to bash your mother or anything, but when it comes to life, she lives it and refuses to have anything holding her back. I’m pretty sure when she heard about your father’s Alzheimer’s, she was already planning how to get out of the situation but still keep the money in her pocket. Why do you think she only has one child? Because she didn’t need more holding her back, but she also wanted to have that experience in her back pocket to talk about whenever the conversations arose with other mothers. Why do you think you’re so distant from her? Why she only gave you an hour of her day when you were young? Why she isn’t here right now?”
“She gave more than Dad could. He was hardly around.”
“Your father worked very hard to provide for you, Chloe. He—” She froze. I could tell she wanted to say more but had to rapidly stop the flow of her words, swallowing hard and holding back. “Anyway, remember what I told you. Anytime you need to talk, I’m here.” Margie moved towards the door, but I hopped off the bed.
“Wait—Margie!”
She glanced back as I stood in the middle of my bedroom. “Mom wasn’t all bad you know?”
“I know, sweetie.”
“And about Theo… well, I’m just a little confused right now, is all. I’m sure I’ll figure that out soon.”
She put on a genuine smile, gripping the doorknob. “That, I’m sure about too, lovely. But I’m also sure you won’t be figuring it out anytime soon.”
I stared at her, unsure of what else to say. This was the most I had ever spoken about boys to anyone older than me. Margie seemed to hold wisdom and understanding. She was a patient woman, and I could use that in my life.
Honestly, it kind of scared me to think about opening up to a woman I’d just gotten to know, but it also thrilled me to know I could come home to someone that would listen and understand. Someone that wouldn’t judge me or think I was insane or selfish for my actions. Someone that understood exactly what I was going through.
We swapped smiles. “Goodnight, Margie.”
“Goodnight, bella.”
When the door shut behind her, I blew out a breath, sitting in the chair in front of my computer. Headlights crossed my window and an immediate frown took over. Hopping from the chair, I rushed to the window, watching as Theo’s Charger pulled in the driveway backwards. He climbed out, and out of the passenger door came the girl with the blonde hair.
I blinked hard, biting hot tears. They walked to the door, her ahead of him. When they were inside, I could no longer look. I knew what was about to happen. Izzy didn’t call her his girl toy for no reason. She only came over when he was in need… when he was desperate to get off.
My head shook hard, and unfortunately, the tears fell. If he didn’t think he was hurting me, he was wrong. He was killing me, and being here in Primrose was making me spiral and lose myself all over again.
I felt just like I did right before I left.
Like scum, a piece of gum on the bottom of someone’s shoe.
Worthless. Pointless. In the way.
Switching the lamp off, I slipped beneath my blanket. I fell asleep, and luckily, I couldn’t remember my dreams. I just slept, but when I awoke, my head was pounding. I checked my alarm clock. 12:18 PM.
“Ughhh.” I groaned, sitting up. My head pounded even more. I’d slept a little too long. Climbing out of bed, I went to the bathroom to freshen up and then put on a pair of shorts and a tank top.
After informing Margie that I was going for an afternoon run, I was out of the door with my earphones plugged in my ears. I ran around Primrose twice and then entered the park, the park that held so many memories.
As I neared the fountain, I helplessly looked to my right and spotted the line of trees Theo had taken me through once before. I knew that patch of grass was still there, the daises and sunflowers.
I picked up my pace, running faster, zooming through the park and hitting the track. I ran it five times, until I became too tired and too out of breath. Bending forward, my palms on my thighs, I inhaled much needed oxygen, trying desperately to rid myself of all memories of him. It was impossible. They’d been seared into the core of my brain. They were permanent. There was no getting rid of him.
The sun beamed down on me, heating my skin even more and making sweat spill down my face. Footsteps sounded behind me after several seconds had passed. Glancing over my shoulder, I spotted him running in my direction. I was sure he couldn’t see me. I was standing by the fence, out of his line of sight.
I should have stayed bent over, perhaps then, he wouldn’t have seen me, but I stood up straight, watching him come nearer, and his eyes moved to the right, face going stiff. I couldn’t believe he still ran this track every day. I thought he’d killed that habit a long time ago, but it explained how he was still in great shape.
Sweat glistened on his forehead, beads spilling down his defined chest and over his eight abs. He slowed his pace, meeting my eyes. We stared at each other, me confused and him remorseful. Lips parted, he began to speak—explain himself—but I quickly turned, dashing off and regaining all the energy I’d lost only moments ago.
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