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“No, get on your knees behind me,” I countered.

“God dammit, Gabriella. Stop.”

“Get behind me, Paxton,” I coaxed with a finger gliding through my wet slit. I felt the bed rock when his knees moved behind me. And then I moaned. A lot. “Hmm,” I muttered as every inch of him slid inside me. My erotic noises became even louder when he reached around and pinched my throbbing nub between two fingers. “Yes, baby. Right there. Hmm, fuck.”

“Shh. Gabriella,” he warned as his hips stopped.

I didn’t care. I could do the work myself, and I did. I backed into him more, helping myself to his pleasure. All the way in and then out.

Paxton grunted a few incoherent words and a few of ordering me to stop, but he didn’t mean it. Or I didn’t care. One of the two.

“You’re driving me up the fucking wall,” he suddenly stated in serious, defeated tone. Yes!

Paxton grabbed my hips, kneeling in a one-knee stance. His other leg wrapped around my waist, holding me firm against his body. I’m not sure if his hips moved at all. It was more of a grinding sort of thing. His hands directed my ass to rock up and down on his cock. I knew before three seconds were up that I was going to come. I was done for.

“Aahh!” I moaned while my body convulsed wildly. I came to my knees in an upright position, and let my fingers slide through the hair on the back of his neck. My back touched his chest and his arms went around me. One hand cupped my aching sex while the other explored my body, stopping to twist a nipple here and there. I turned and fell to my back, bursting into a post orgasmic cry. My right eyelid dropped in a deadpan wink, inviting him to do whatever he wanted. He didn’t do what I had hoped he would do. I wanted what was in the cabinet. Something wicked and taboo. Paxton dropped his body to mine and slid into me. His tongue thrusting with the rhythm of his hips.

With his hands all over my body, Paxton made love to me. He kissed me, pulled me closer, explored every inch of my body with the tips of his fingers, and made love. That’s exactly what he had done. He knew it, and I knew it. We made love.

At precisely the same moment, Paxton stilled deep inside me, and my body quivered below him. Our moans escaped into a deep kiss, and our bodies exploded together. Mine trembled below his, trying to find still ground. Everything spun around me while erotic endorphins submerged my mind, body, and soul. The devil’s drug. Powerful. Exhilarating. Passionate. Potent. And addicting. Extremely addicting. I was hooked on Paxton.

And just like that. It was gone. Paxton turned his eyes from mine and pulled out of me. “You better get some rest. You have a busy day tomorrow,” he said like he hadn’t just felt what I felt. What had just happened between us?

“Yeah, so I hear, Jekyll,” I replied as I sat up, narrowed eyes shooting daggers at his back. I covered myself with the sheet and watched him pull his shorts over his hips.

“I’m not doing this. Goodnight.”

And he was gone.

“Doing what?” I said to the empty room. Although it wasn’t really empty anymore. Now that I knew my room was booby-trapped with cameras, I wasn’t really alone. Looking at the time, I debated reading more of my poems. They calmed me in a weird sort of way. My eyes went to the tablet with a deep breath and I laid down. Apparently, my day was filled with activities, starting at six in the morning. Maybe I would just take it with me and read while my kids did whatever it is they do. Everything. That’s what. Too much.

 

~~

“Can we stop now? Please. I have to pee,” Izzy whined from the backseat.

“We’re almost there. Hang on,” my mom said. Her head turned to me, sitting in the passenger seat. Her smile was instantly contagious. I knew what came next before she ever did it. The first couple of beats coming from the speakers was a dead giveaway. She smiled, beaming with joy when the song came on the radio. Free bird. Her song. She sang to the top of her lungs as she drove us right into downtown Chicago.

I hadn’t even realized our surroundings had changed until Izzy tapped me on the shoulder. I climbed over the seats and sat with her, elbows locked, looking straight up. The buildings were tall enough to touch the sky.

“What are we doing here?” Izzy yelled over Lynyrd Skynyrd.

“Why does it smell like that?” I questioned. My scrunched nose looked to Izzy’s crinkled face.

“That, my Clydes, is city air,” she explained. My mom went into great detail about how important it was to take care of the earth. “You know how I am always telling you to take care of your temple? Your body? Our planet should be the same way. People don’t respect their bodies, or their dwellings. It’s the nature of a human to want more, have more, do more. You just can’t get caught up in that, girls. You hear me?”

She was always preaching stuff like that. We may not have understood it at the age of eleven, but we were no doubt used to it.

“It doesn’t matter what the neighbor has. Let him have it. That’s not what life is supposed to be girls. That’s not your purpose here. You don’t need stuff.”

“I like stuff. I’m going to marry a man and have two kids. Twins like me and Izzy so they have someone to play with. My car is going to be a white one with two backseats. And my house is going to have a swimming pool and a swing set and a sandbox,” I rattled on while we drove through the city, mirrored windows and skyscrapers everywhere.

“I’m going to drive a blimp,” Izzy put it simply.

I could see the sadness in my mom’s eyes when she looked at me. I couldn’t help it. I did want a house with a yard and pool. No way was I going to grow up and live in a thousand places. Maybe I would live in California or Oklahoma. We stayed at a ladies house there once on a horse farm. Izzy and I wanted to stay there, but my mom wouldn’t let us.

“That’s why people eat animals, ya know. If people would have been happy with what they had, animals wouldn’t have to die. It’s a cruel pleasure. One that you don’t want, Clydes,” she assured us with great intent. “The world would be a better place if everyone could stop wanting more. God gave us what we needed and our egos wanted more. You don’t need stuff to be happy. You remember that. You hear me, Clydes?” She didn’t acknowledge us through the mirror, so neither of us answered.

“Where’re we going?” Izzy asked at precisely the same moment I said it. We did that a lot. Saying things at the same time, or finishing each other’s sentences.

“Remember a few months back when we met Brice? The guy with the big dog?”

“Yes, his name was Pluto,” I said as I remembered the dog. His head came all the way to my chin. I liked Brice. His tent was close to ours when we stayed on the beach.

The car got quiet once my mother started to concentrate on the directions scribbled on a McDonald’s bag. Izzy and I felt out our surroundings with a knowing look toward each other. She didn’t feel right either. I read it in her face.

We parked on the street in the middle of a slum neighborhood and walked up four stories. The elevator was broke. We both complained after the first flight.

The feelings Izzy and I shared in the car continued throughout the evening. We mostly watched Nickelodeon on a musty stench mattress thrown in the corner of the room. My mom, along with Brice and two other guys, smoked weed and drank out of the same bottle of booze. We got one piece of pizza each before we went to bed, on the dirty mattress. My mom kissed us both goodnight, promising to move on first thing in the morning.

She knew we weren’t in a good place, and she felt guilty for putting us there, but she still did it. Every single time. If there were men, drugs, and alcohol she was there. Especially if they were free. Not that they were ever really free, not even that night.

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Woodruff Jettie - Suit Suit
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