Queen of This Realm - Plaidy Jean - Страница 60

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Kat said it was folly when I was not feeling well and she was sure I had some fever, but I told her to be silent; but perhaps she was right for I caught a chill and the next day I had to take to my bed.

When Lord Hunsdon heard that I was unwell, he begged to be allowed to come to see me. I was rather fond of him and he was my first cousin, being the son of my mother's sister Mary. When I came to the throne he had been plain Henry Carey. I gave him a knighthood at once and later created him Baron Hunsdon. I always tried to help the Boleyns and he was one to be proud of because he excelled at the jousts, and not long ago he and Robert had led the lists against all comers in a tournament we had had at Greenwich. I had been so delighted that my cousin and the most important of all men should so excel together.

So I allowed Lord Hunsdon to be brought to me.

When he saw me he fell on his knees by the bed in some alarm and begged me to allow him to summon a doctor in whom he had great trust because he himself had benefited from his skill. So I gave my permission for Dr Burcot to come to see me, and when he came I was furious that I had done so, for the man looked at me, touched my brow, felt the fever and said: “Your Majesty, you have the smallpox.”

The smallpox! The dreaded disease which could be fatal and almost always was! And even if one survived there was a chance of one's being disfigured for life. The thought of my white skin—in which I took such pride—being hideously pitted was more than I could bear.

“I have not got the pox!” I cried. “I will not have the pox! Take this man away. He is a knave. A charlatan. He knows not what he talks of.”

Dr Burcot bowed and retired and I lay back on my bed exhausted with rage and fever.

I lived in fear and each morning I searched my body for the dreaded sign. No spots appeared, but I felt no better. My fever increased. I knew now that they all expected I was on my death-bed and the Privy Council was called together to take a vital decision on the succession. Some naturally thought that Katharine Grey should succeed me; others thought that the choice should fall on Henry Hastings, Earl of Huntingdon, who was a Plantagenet through his descent on his mother's side from Edward IV's brother the Duke of Clarence. He was a strong Protestant and for that reason was sure of favor in many circles. The great fear was that Spain would take action and an attempt would be made to set Mary Stuart on the throne.

I was only vaguely aware of this as I lay in my bed and suddenly I opened my eyes and saw the members of my Council about my bed.

I struggled back to consciousness. This could mean one thing. I was dying.

My first thought was of Robert Dudley, which showed that I truly loved him. I thought: What will become of him? It was his great wish to rule the country and there was no doubt that he had great ability.

I said: “My lords, my end is near. That is why you stand there regarding me so solemnly.”

And when they did not answer, I was sure that it was true.

“I beg of you to name Lord Robert Dudley Protector of the Realm,” I went on. “This is my wish. Be good to my cousin, Lord Hunsdon, who has served me well. Scandal has been talked of me but I swear before God that although I love Lord Robert Dudley and always have, nothing improper has ever passed between us.”

The Council was overcome with emotion and promised me that my wishes should be carried out.

I thanked them and closed my eyes.

But my cousin Hunsdon had great faith in the doctor whom I had dismissed and sent a messenger to him asking him to come back and help me.

Dr Burcot was a German and he made it clear that he took commands from no Englishman or -woman.

“She insulted me!” he cried. “She called me knave. If she would not listen to my advice when I might have saved her, I decline to offer it again.”

The messenger, who believed that I was dying and perhaps for love of me—but more likely because he wanted to keep his master in high favor— took Dr Burcot's coat and boots and told him that if he did not come at once to my bedside he would run him through the heart—and he produced his dagger to prove it.

The doctor was either impressed by such fervor or afraid the man would carry out his threat—in any case he put on his boots and coat and came with all speed to my bedside.

I think I must have been very near death when he arrived. He grumbled that he was almost too late but there might yet be a chance. “The spots must come out,” he said. “And I have to force them out.”

Then he did a most extraordinary thing. He told them to put a mattress by the fire and had my body wrapped in a piece of scarlet cloth. I was then carried to the mattress and laid there, where I was given something to drink which was sweet and soothing. I drank deeply for he made me take as much as I could; and when I had drunk I saw the red blotches beginning to appear on my hands and arms.

“What means this?” I cried.

“I told Your Majesty that you had the pox,” said the doctor. “You called me a knave. Well, now you will see.”

“The pox!” I cried in horror. “I would rather die.”

“Nonsense,” said the doctor whose respect for my rank was nonexistent. “It is better to have the pox outside your body than inside where it can kill you.”

I was overcome with grief though the fever had left me and I could only think that the smallpox marked people permanently. All my pretensions to beauty would be gone. I could not bear that. I realized then what a vain woman I was—vain about trivialities. Almost as much as a great ruler, I wanted to be a desirable woman.

I began to feel better. The terrible fever which had put me in a stupor was passing, but the fearful spots were rapidly covering my face, my arms, in fact every part of my body.

Mary Sidney came to me and said she would be with me day and night and that if I would restrain from scratching the spots there was no reason why I should not emerge with my skin as beautiful as it had ever been.

I never forgot what I owed to Mary Sidney. I knew that she was a good and loyal creature but I had thought her devotion might have been due to a desire to protect her brother's fortunes. Kat would have been with me but she was aging now and not well enough to stand the strain of nursing. But it was comforting at such a time to have someone near me who was so close to Robert.

Mary fed me, washed me, sat with me and watched over me.

I loved her dearly for what she had done for me. And after a while my spots began to fade but I would not leave my apartments until they were completely gone.

Then one day Mary did not come to me. I was desolate when they told me that what we had feared might happen had come to pass. She was suffering from the smallpox.

It did not take long for my skin to heal. I think I was very healthy. I had not overeaten as many of my subjects did—including Robert—and I had always kept my body especially clean. It may be that this helped me. In any case very soon I had completely recovered. For several days I wanted to keep looking at myself. Not a spot! Not a blemish! My skin was as dazzlingly white as it had ever been.

I knew that I owed this to the irascible Dr Burcot and I chided myself for dismissing him so vehemently on the first occasion. If I had not done so, I might have been more quickly cured and to show my gratitude I gave him a grant of land and a pair of golden spurs which had belonged to my grandfather King Henry VII. He thanked me for them in his gruff way, but I believed he was immensely gratified that I had emerged unscathed.

I wanted all those who had shown their love for me to know how grateful I was, but there was one I could never repay.

I cannot get out of my mind the day Mary Sidney came to me. She was cured of the pox and when she came in heavily veiled and knelt at my feet, terrible fears beset me.

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