Queen of This Realm - Plaidy Jean - Страница 36

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Quoth Elizabeth, prisoner.”

I WAS SUMMONED to Court for the Christmas festivities. Did this mean that I was no longer a prisoner? My excitement was intense. It might well be that my sister in her happy condition—for she said she was pregnant—no longer considered me a threat. I was sure her bridegroom was an astute man and he would quickly sense his lack of popularity in England. Perhaps he wished to please the people by recalling me. There must have been a reason—perhaps many. But the fact remained I was summoned to Hampton Court.

When one is a prisoner and life, though fraught with danger, is tedious, any little diversion is welcome even if it holds an element of even greater danger, which a trip to Court must surely hold for me.

So with growing excitement I prepared to leave for Hampton Court in the company of Sir Henry Bedingfeld. We spent the first night at Ricote where I renewed my pleasant friendship with Lord Williams and was so right royally treated that I felt I had left my prison behind me already. After two more days of travel we came to Hampton, and as my guards stayed with me I supposed that my status had not changed as I had hoped.

I had not been an hour in the apartments allotted to me when I had a call from the Council headed by Gardiner. Before they could speak I cried out that I was glad to see them and I hoped they would plead with the Queen and King to release me from my imprisonment.

“My advice to you,” said Gardiner, “is to confess your faults and throw yourself on the Queen's mercy.”

“As I have never offended against the Queen,” I retorted, “either in thought, word or deed, rather than confess to a fault I have not committed I would lie in prison all my life.”

“The Queen marvels at your boldness,” said Gardiner. “Your refusal to confess suggests that Her Majesty has wrongfully imprisoned you. You must do other than plead your innocence if you are to be set at liberty.”

“Then I will stay in prison with honesty,” I cried. “I stand by everything I have said, and may God forgive you for what you have done to me.”

I saw no use in trying to placate this man. Whatever I did or said he would be my enemy. I was not so much a person to him as an obstacle to his ambitions.

They left me. I knew that I had not behaved as they expected me to. They judged me wrongly. Having endured so much I was not prepared to barter my hopes of the crown—forlorn though they might seem now—for a brief concession. I was playing for high stakes, and if my death was the result, that was more acceptable to me than ignoble capitulation.

For a week I was left alone and I wondered what the motive could have been to take me from my prison in Woodstock merely to put me in another at Hampton Court.

But at last the summons came. The Queen wished to see me.

I faced her with some trepidation as I fell to my knees and she gave me her hand to kiss. She looked at me steadily and said: “I hear that you will confess to no fault.”

“It is hard to confess to what is not, Your Majesty.”

“You swear that you speak the truth?”

“I swear,” I said.

“I pray God this may become manifest.”

“If aught can be proved against me,” I said stoutly, “I shall be prepared to accept with meekness any punishment Your Majesty may think fit to bestow upon me.”

“So you say you have been wrongfully treated?”

“To say so is not possible in your presence.”

“Because it would imply my injustice, you mean? So you do not tell me I am unjust, but I doubt not you report so to others.”

“Your Majesty, I have never said that you were unjust,” I replied coolly. “I have borne and must bear Your Majesty's displeasure, but I swear I have never been aught else than Your Majesty's loyal and true subject.”

She looked at me somberly and murmured as though to herself: “God knoweth.”

I suspected that she was inclined to believe me and that she was not happy with this rift between us. I had always been vaguely sorry for Mary. I had sensed in her that desire for affection. She had had it from her mother— the only person it turned out to be from whom she ever did have it; and she had seen that mother suffer humiliation, repudiation and imprisonment at our father's hand. No wonder she was warped, no wonder she was starved for affection. I had heard that she lavished it on Philip. And, dear God, I thought, she is with child by him!

She made me sit beside her and my spirits were lifted a little because I felt she was showing friendship toward me. She would while we were together thus but when in conclave with her advisers, my archenemies Gardiner and Renaud, she would allow the suspicions to creep back.

There was a certain unwieldiness about her body. So the child was already making its presence known.

While we were talking together I was aware of a certain movement at the curtains. I fancied that when I turned my head sharply someone had moved back. Could it be that we had a witness to this scene, someone listening to every word that was uttered, noting them to discuss afterward with the Queen? I must be doubly careful.

During that interview, which was growing more and more cordial, I kept an alert eye on the curtains behind which was the retiring chamber. Someone was there who could not resist taking a peep through the curtains. I could not believe it! I had caught a glimpse of black velvet. Philip! Who else could be in the retiring room? So Philip of Spain was eager for a few covert glances at his sister-in-law while he listened to what she said to his Queen.

ALTHOUGH I WAS still guarded I was not treated like a prisoner and as the Christmas festivities began I took my place at Court and was usually seated in a place of honor at the table. I had now been presented to Philip who showed excessive courtesy toward me. It was true that he was far from prepossessing; he had those sandy lashes like my own but mine were thick and my hair was abundant and shining while his was scanty. Moreover my skin was white while his complexion was mud color. He had a very high forehead which coupled with an alert expression gave him a look of cleverness and I was sure he was an extremely brilliant man. Anything he lacked in appearance he made up for in dignity and exquisite manners.

I caught his eyes on me calculatingly and I remembered that he had spied on me when I was with my sister. Meeting him exhilarated me, as clever people always did, and when I realized I had to be very wary of him, I was doubly stimulated.

It was wonderful to be back at Court and arouse the interest of important people. There were feasting and tournaments for we were not only celebrating the season but the wedding as well. I had been provided with some beautiful clothes and it was very pleasant to appear as a princess again instead of a prisoner.

I wished I could see Kat and I wondered what was happening to her. I did hear that Robert Dudley had been released from the Tower and I wondered whether I should see him at Court. But that could hardly be expected; he might be free from imprisonment but he would hardly be received with honor since his father had succeeded in putting Jane Grey on the throne even if it was only for nine days. Robert Dudley, it seemed, was now in the army or in Norfolk, where some years before, he had been married. If he had not been, he would have been chosen as the husband for Jane Grey. When Northumberland saw the opportunity of putting Jane on the throne, Guildford had been the only remaining unmarried son at that time.

I was recovering from my melancholy and when I was dressed in my magnificent gown of white satin decorated with myriads of tiny pearls, I could not believe that I had ever been reconciled to death. This sojourn at Hampton Court had made me realize how much I loved life, how I loved my country and the English people, and that I would never give up hope, however distant, of ruling them one day.

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