Queen of This Realm - Plaidy Jean - Страница 26

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It was true that she was the rightful and undoubted heir and one day— God willing—I should stand in her place.

When the ceremony was over, we returned with the whole train to Westminster Hall for the banquet, and I was happy to notice that all due respect was paid to me. The Queen had me seated beside her on the left hand and next to me sat Anne of Cleves. I was aware of all eyes on me and I forgot the warnings and the dangers as I dreamed of the future.

Edward Dymoke made the challenge, throwing down his gauntlet, which no one picked up, proclaiming to all that Mary was the true Queen and accepted as such by all the company.

I felt elated until, the ceremony over, we took to our barges for the short journey to Whitehall Stairs, and as the cold river breezes touched my face, I knew there were untold perils all about me.

KAT ASHLEY BROUGHT me rumors of what was being said at Court, and one such was that the Queen might marry Edward Courtenay.

“She is very fond of him,” said Kat, “and she would be able to command him absolutely.”

“Well,” I replied. “Perhaps it would not be such a bad thing. He is after all a Plantagenet and so has royal blood.”

But that proved to be merely a rumor, for soon after that it was announced that the Queen proposed to marry Philip of Spain.

How foolish it was of Mary to agree to this, but I supposed that Gardiner and Renaud, the Spanish Ambassador, persuaded her. One thing I was sure of: the French Ambassador would be most put out. The last thing he wanted was to see a strong alliance between Spain and England. What Mary had not considered was the reaction of the people. It very soon became apparent that there was growing uneasiness among those who followed the Reformed Faith, and even those English people who were not so concerned with religion did not care for foreigners or foreign rule. They had heard of the possibility of a marriage with Edward Courtenay and this was what they favored.

Mary was making herself unpopular, something no sovereign should do. Then I became really alarmed because there was a suggestion that I should marry Edward Courtenay. That terrified me. I wanted no hurried marriage, for the future was uncertain. I wanted to be free to do whatever was necessary when the time came.

I felt nothing would come of these suggestions because Gardiner would surely be against such a marriage. He could not want me to marry a man who could be said to have a faint claim to the throne through his Plantagenet ancestors.

Now that I had been proclaimed a bastard, which I must be if the marriage between my father and Mary's mother was valid, others took precedence over me, even though I was heiress presumptive to the throne. The Countess of Lennox, the daughter of Margaret Queen of Scotland, was one, and even the Duchess of Suffolk, whose daughter Jane Grey was still in the Tower, was another.

I found this hard to endure. I had more headaches. I began to look delicate and one day the Queen noticed this.

I told her I was feeling unwell and longed for the country air. She said nothing at the time but she must have consulted Gardiner on the advisability of sending me away from Court. I believe he was rather concerned that in spite of his efforts to denigrate me, I still had the favor of the people in the streets and whenever I appeared they made this apparent. Perhaps because of this he agreed that it might be a good idea to let me go, and the Queen sent for me to tell me of her decision.

I was greatly relieved. I fell on my knees and thanked her for her kindness.

“Dear Majesty,” I said, “I beg of you do not believe any ill you may hear of me. If such a thing should happen, will you please do me the honor of receiving me so that you may hear the truth from my lips? For I am not only your sister but your servant.”

She said she believed me and gave me a pearl necklace and a hood of rich sable fur as a token of her regard for me.

And feeling more easy in my mind than I had for some time, I rode down to Ashridge.

IN SPITE OF MY determination to live quietly in the country, out of harm's way, I was now passing into what some might say was the most dangerous period of my life. I knew there were strong feelings against Mary's proposed Spanish match; Sir William Cecil had made me aware of the antagonism of the powerful Spanish and French Ambassadors; what I did not know was that those who wished me well could prove my undoing.

Jane Grey was still in the Tower but I felt sure that in due course my sister intended to release her. I had heard that the Spanish Ambassador had urged her to sign the order for Jane's execution and that Mary refused, saying that the girl was in her present position through no fault of her own, for she was just turned sixteen years old and it was certain that she had never sought the greatness which had been thrust upon her. I was glad that Mary could still stand firm against Renaud, but I wondered how firm she would be when she married Philip, if it came to that.

I was sorry for Mary in a way. She suffered such ill health and from what I had seen she was ready to idolize Philip. Since her mother had died there could have been little love in her life, and Mary, like so many of those stern and forbidding people, craved love more than most of us. I had had to make do with the devotion of my servants, people like Kat Ashley; but I had had that, and I had always been sure of my ability to attract people to me. The cheers of the people in the streets filled me with wild exulting happiness; but that was different. I wanted no lover who would, as lovers do in time, seek to control me. I did not want love as Mary did. She had not yet seen Philip yet her eyes softened at the mention of him, her voice grew gentle and she glowed with a rare softness. Oh, if ever Philip came to England he would have an easy victory. He would so subjugate the Queen that he would become the country's unquestioned ruler—unquestioned by her, but not by the people. I had a feeling that they would never tolerate the yoke of Spain. They would look to others to release them from it. I shivered yet exulted at the thought.

Never, never again, must I go to Mass, however unwillingly.

It seemed that Mary was satisfied with shedding the blood of Northumberland—with which everyone would agree. He had been the instigator of the plot; he was the villain who had tried to change the succession. She blamed him and few others. The Dudley men were still in the Tower under sentence of death; even Guildford still lived. It was certainly wrong to brand Mary a cruel Queen.

She wanted peace, and she wanted Philip and an heir to the throne; but what she wanted more than anything was to bring England back to Rome. As I saw it that would be her tragedy and that of the nation, for she did not understand the English people well enough to realize that although they will appear acquiescing up to a point, although they will give the impression that they are too lazy to care much about serious matters, there will come a point when they take a stand, and then they will be formidable.

I knew this, but then I had made the people of England my special concern, and I always would, for I knew that finally they are the ones who make the decisions.

It was not long before there was a protest about the proposed marriage, and because of my position and in spite of the fact that I was hidden away in the country, I was made the center of it.

Whether Thomas Wyatt would have become involved if Edward Courtenay had not approached him, I doubt. Courtenay, who had been such a favorite of Mary's since as a prisoner in the Tower he had knelt before her on the Green and obtained his pardon, was naturally angry because she had turned from him and was planning to take Philip of Spain for her husband. Perhaps some latent ambition in Courtenay had been fired; perhaps he had set his mind on being King through Mary. He had not taken kindly to the idea of marriage with me. Nor had I. I considered him weak and I had no admiration for weak men. Moreover I saw in marriage a trap—not only to my personal freedom but to my future plans. When the time came…if the time came…I wanted to be free and uncluttered.

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