In Your Heart - Smeltzer Micalea - Страница 63

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His Adam’s apple bobbed and he suddenly seemed unsure. He clasped his hands in front of his body and rocked back on his heels, waiting for my response.

“How long?” I questioned.

“How long what?”

“How long have you been planning this?” I waved my hand around to encompass all the drawings. There had to be at least a hundred of them, if not more. Some appeared to be larger and more detailed while some were smaller. From where I stood I could see one with Toby drawn on it in his goldfish bowl.

“Since the moment you walked away from me and I realized how in love I am with you. I would’ve told you then, but you were gone so fast, and I also knew that it was going to take a lot more than pretty words to make you believe me.” He shrugged, his hair tumbling forward across his forehead. I itched to run my fingers through its softness, but so much still needed to be said.

“You hurt me.” I whispered the words, handing them to him like they were a grenade. “I told you that I was in love with you and you just stood there.”

“I know,” he said sadly, nodding his head, “and I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry for a lot of things. But even if you tell me to walk out that door right now,” he pointed behind me, “and tell me you never want to see me again, I’ll never apologize for every moment I spent with you.” He motioned to the drawings around us. “Not just this summer, but every single time I smiled or laughed with you. I’ll cherish all of it forever.” He closed his hand into a fist and placed it over his heart.

“I don’t want you to walk out that door,” I confessed, wiping away more tears.

Damn that boy for making me cry.

A slow smile crept onto his face. “You don’t?”

I shook my head. “I want you to stay.” I pointed to my heart and I hoped he got my meaning.

“In your heart?”

I nodded. “I couldn’t get you out of there if I wanted to. You’re too much of a part of me.”

He crept closer to me and touched his heart. “You’re in mine too, sweetheart. You’re in me so deep that I don’t know what to do when you’re gone. I feel like half of a person.”

I took a deep breath and finally I made that final step, the one that closed the distance between us. I leaned my head back to look up at him.

“So what does this mean for us?”

He tilted his head to the side. “I hope it means that you’re my girlfriend…” He paused. “Although, I really hate that word, because I feel like it diminishes how much you mean to me.”

I reached up and wrapped my arms around his neck and we both sighed at the contact. “No more hiding?” I questioned. “This is real?”

“It was always real, sweetheart.” He cupped my cheek. “We were only trying to pretend that it wasn’t.”

A question glimmered in his eyes and he must have found the answer in mine, because he lowered his head, slanting his lips over mine.

I moaned into his mouth, my body relaxing at the contact. I stood on my tiptoes and my fingers tangled in the curls of his hair as I tried to get closer.

His hands pressed into my waist, moving lower, and I startled when he grabbed my legs to lift me up.

He carried me over to my bed and laid me down. Paper crinkled beneath my back and I pulled away enough to breathe, “Don’t mess up the drawings. I want to look at all of them later.”

“Later?” He chuckled, brushing his lips so lightly against mine it couldn’t even be called a kiss. “How about now?”

I leaned up, finding his ear. “I was kind of hoping my boyfriend would fuck me first.”

He framed my face with his hands and shook his head. Before I had a chance to be upset he said, “I’m not going to fuck you, Sadie. Not right now, at least.” His voice lowered to a husky whisper and his lips ghosted against my neck over the spot where my pulse raced. “I’m going to make love to you the way I’ve always wanted to.”

I shivered at his words. “I like the sound of that.”

He grinned and kissed me again, deeply, with a hunger that could never be filled. I kissed him back just as urgently and with no less passion. As hot as all our other encounters had been we’d both been holding back on the emotion part, and now it was here in full force and couldn’t be denied anymore.

He slanted my head back with one hand and his tongue pressed against mine. I gasped into his mouth and the sound was drowned out by his groan. His other hand slid down the side of my waist and over my thigh. He grabbed my knee, lifting my leg so that he could fit himself more firmly against my center. His hips ground into mine and I gasped again, my hands sliding down his chest until I found the bottom of his shirt.

I tore it off of him and he chuckled at my enthusiasm. His shirt fell to the floor somewhere and I relished in the feel of his smooth, tanned skin beneath the palms of my hands.

“I love you.” The words came out as a breathless gasp and I reveled in the feel of being able to say them with no restraints.

“Fuck, I love you too.” He ran his thumb over my bottom lip. “So much. Don’t ever doubt that.”

With all the drawings of our best moments lying around us, there was only one answer. “I won’t.” I couldn’t doubt his love for me anymore, not when he’d gone to this much trouble to literally illustrate how much I meant to him.

He kissed me again. The kind of kiss that stole your breath and maybe your soul too.

He took his time peeling off of my clothes, like he was unwrapping the most precious gift he’d ever received.

He kissed every inch of my skin that he uncovered and my heart raced impossibly faster. Surely, eventually, it would stop beating all together. At least I would die happy and knowing what it felt like to have Ezra love me.

His lips skimmed between my breasts, over my stomach, and stopped when he reached my underwear. His hands slid up my thighs and hooked into the sides. All the while his eyes stayed on mine. He pulled them down and tossed them behind him and he finally let his eyes drop to feast on my bare skin.

“You’re so beautiful.” The words were a whispered rasp that covered my body in Goosebumps. He said the words with such conviction that I could never doubt them. Even as his eyes fluttered over my body I didn’t feel a desire to cover myself. I wanted him to see me, all of me, and the love I had to give.

He sucked his bottom lip between his teeth and his eyes finally met mine once more. “I love you,” he said, ducking his head to kiss the space where my neck met my shoulder. “I love you.” A kiss to my collarbone. “I love you.” He kissed my chest, over my heart. “I love everything about you.”

“Everything?” I questioned with a giggle when he kissed my side, his stubble brushing against a ticklish spot.

“Everything,” he repeated.

He removed the rest of his clothes and grabbed my hips, easing inside of me. We both sighed in relief at the feeling.

My hands roamed down his back, grabbing his ass. “Harder,” I pleaded desperately.

He grabbed my hands, entwining our fingers together. We fit together seamlessly, another reminder of why we were so perfect for each other.

“I never want you to walk away from me ever again,” he confessed.

“Then don’t give me a reason.” I breathed against his lips.

“I won’t,” he vowed.

With the amount of love and truth swimming in his gaze I had to believe him.

His thrusts sped up and my fingernails dug into his back.

My body tightened all over and I gasped, “I’m close.”

“Me too.” His hold on my hips tightened and his forehead creased.

We came together, both confessing our love for the entire world to hear.

When he fell asleep I crept out of the bed, wrapping my robe around me, as I padded around the apartment, collecting every single drawing. I sat down on the bed once more, beside his sleeping body. He was lying on his stomach, with his arms hugging the pillow. His dark hair was wild and unruly and perfectly him.

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