Flat-Out Love - Park Jessica - Страница 54

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The moonlight was enough that she could see he was awake, just not answering her. He was on his back, one hand folded under his head and the other resting on his chest. He turned to look at her. At least he looked as miserable as she felt.

“I’m sorry. Please. You have to forgive me.” Her voice was breaking. She knew that she was on the verge of falling apart, but she couldn’t help it. “I’m so sorry. Id som so sorry,” she kept repeating. “Matty, please. You can’t be this mad at me. I can’t take it.” Julie leaned forward, dropping her head onto his chest and slipping her arms under his shoulders, trying to make him hold her. The Matt she’d seen earlier tonight had been a stranger. She hugged him tightly, wanting nothing more than for him to come back to her, to be himself again.

A few minutes passed, and then she felt his hand on the back of her head, gently stroking her hair. She closed her eyes.

“Shhh…” he said. “I’m the one that’s sorry. I didn’t mean any of the things I said to you. You didn’t deserve that.”

Julie turned her head, resting her cheek against him and listening to his breathing.  His voice was soothing, his touch relaxing, and Julie’s pain began to lighten a hint. She didn’t know what to say, so she said nothing, staying where she was as his hand continued to move through her hair and then to her back. He lulled her into a place where nothing hurt anymore, and this whole dreadful evening started to feel like a nightmare that she was coming out of. His stroke traveled over the straps of her tank top, brushing against her skin, making her shiver and curl into him more.

“I was awful,” he continued. “Your relationship with your father is none of my business. Of course you love him, and you have every right to. What I said was unforgivable.” Matt was sincerely upset. She could hear it. “You’re the best thing to happen to Celeste. She was lost before you got here. Like she didn’t belong anywhere. You’re saving her. I never should have said what I did.”

“No, I pushed her too much,” Julie said quietly. “And you. It won’t happen again.”

“You’ve been perfect. I wish I could tell you everything, but I can’t. Not yet.”

“I know. That’s all right.” She kept her tight hold around him, as if letting go might break his absolution, and he would again let loose with more cruel blame.

The rush and tension from their earlier scene had started to wane, and she was feeling drowsy, settled into a post-fight haze. Like she’d been drugged with relief.

The air felt chilly, and his touch was giving her goose bumps. Julie shivered again.

“Cold?” he asked.

“Yeah. A little.”

As Matt moved his legs over in the bed, she eased in next to him, sliding under the blanket, onto her side and into the crook of his arm.  His hand was still on her back, his fingertips starting to trace the curve of her shoulder blade, moving up to brush the nape of her neck, then traveling up and down her arm. She took his free hand in hers, intertwining their fingers, and squeezed.

He squeezed back.

“So we’re still friends?” she asked.

“Yes,” he said after a moment. “We’re still friends.”

He didn’t hate her. They were fine. Celeste would be fine. This would all work out, and there was no irrevocable damage. Nothing else mattered.

Now fatigue took over and Julie yawned. She was so completely tired and so emotionally spent. The night had drained her of any ability to reason, but she felt peaceful for the moment, grounded. Eventually, Matt’s touch against her skin slowed, and his breathing changed, and she knew that he’d fallen asleep. It was impossible to fight the heaviness that was drawing at her now, so she let the sound of his slumber pull her into her own.

Later—still in his arms, her hand still in his—she stirred.

She felt him lightly kiss the top of her head and say something. He was so quiet that she could barely hear him.

Julie sleepily tilted her head up.

“God, I’m so sorry, Julie,” he said.

“Me, too.”

And then without realizing it, without thinking, she inched up just a little until her mouth was close to his. She had no idea what she was doing, as though she were following some instinct that she couldn’t control. Maybe she was still asleep. Maybe this wasn’t happening. She moved a tiny bit closer, barely touching her lips to his. His mouth was warm and tempting, luring her in. Neither of them moved.

Then his hand was firmly on her side, guiding her body up higher and bringing her mouth closer to his. Matt pressed his lips against hers and he kissed her.

His mouth was soft and unhurried. Teasing, even. His tongue just brushing hers and making her tremble. She kissed back, tasting him, breathing him in. Julie was dizzy, and shaky, and inundated with his heat. He made her temporarily lost, not able to see beyond the way this kiss felt. In the moonlit light, it was smooth, easy, instinctive. She moved her leg over his, bringing them closer together.

She couldn’t possibly be awake.

 Her chest was pressed against his, his hand on her lower back, his fingers digging into her skin. She didn’t want this to stop. She moved one hand to the back of his neck, kissing him harder.

But then Matt tightened his hand around hers before gently resting his head back onto the pillow. He pushed the hair from her face and tucked it behind her ear. Julie didn’t move for a second. This was nuts. She lowered her body and nestled back into his chest. As bleary-eyed, stunned, and out-of-it as she was, part of her knew that she should get up and go back to her room. Even though that was the last thing that she wanted to do. And part of her knew that what had just happened was unexplainable. It must be a dream.

It had to be.

But she didn’t care too much, at least for right now, because the horrible rift between them was healed. That was the most important thing.

I should go, she told herself. I’m supposed to leave. Julie shut her eyes. Why don’t I want to leave? Why don’t I want to leave?

But she simply couldn’t stay awake long enough to convince herself to get out of his bed. Julie surrendered to sleep, letting her body shape against Matt’s as he held her closely.

Chapter 27

Matthew Watkins took the “Which random number are you?” quiz and the result was: 3. Which is lame, because 3 is, like, the least random number there is.

Finn is God So much for Earth Day. I totally screwed things up and started celebrating the wrong planet. Now I have to collect all these stupid trademarked dog figurines that I distributed all over the yard. At least it’s better last year’s mistake when I had butt statues everywhere.

Julie SeagleI like the gritty intensity of Jaws 4. There is a simple honesty to the storytelling that is utterly compelling. Plus, the shark roars.

Julie rolled over and opened her eyes, squinting against the sunlight that blasted her in the face.

Holy…

She was in Matt’s bed. Alone, thank God. At least there was no tragic wake-up-in-each-others’-arms moment. She yanked the sheet up over her head and ran over what had happened last night.

This didn’t have to be a big deal. They had both been emotional, and so things and taken an unexpected turn. Nothing major. People hook up all the time, right? And not that she and Matt had even really hooked up. A tiny little kiss between friends.

Shit.

“Julie?”

She pulled the sheet down and peeked out. Matt was leaning into his room and quite obviously avoiding making eye contact.

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