Power of the Sword - Smith Wilbur - Страница 134

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So when the selectors went into conclave, Centaine waited anxiously, allowing herself renewed hope. As he had warned Centaine he would, Blaine Malcomess excused himself from the selectors room when Shasa's name came up.

But when he was called back in, the chairman grunted.

Very well, young Courtney gets the ride in Clive's place. And despite himself he felt a lift of elation and pride, Shasa JA Courtney was the closest he would ever get to having a son of his own.

As soon as he could, Blaine telephoned Centaine with the news. 'It won't be announced until Friday, but Shasa has got his ticket. Centaine was beside herself . Oh Blaine, darling, how will I contain myself until Friday? she cried. Oh won't it be fun going to Berlin together, the three of us! We can take the Daimler and drive across Europe. Shasa has never visited Mort Homme. We can spend a few days in Paris, and you can take me to dinner at Laserre There is so much to arrange, but we can talk about it when I see you on Saturday. 'Saturday? He had forgotten, she could hear it in his voice.

Sir Garry's birthday, the picnic on the mountain! She sighed with exasperation. Oh Blaine, it's one of the few times in the year we can be together, legitimately! Is it Sir Garry's birthday again so soon? What happened to the year? he hedged.

Oh, Blaine, you did forget, she accused. You can't let me down. It will be a double celebration this year, the birthday, and Shasa's selection for the Games. Promise you will be there, Blaine. He hesitated an instant longer. He had already promised to take Isabella and the girls to her mother's home at Franschoek for the weekend.

I promise, my sweeting, I'll be there. She would never know what that promise would cost him, for Isabella would make him pay with exquisite refinements of cruelty for the broken pledge.

it was the drug which had wrought this change in Isabella, he kept assuring himself. Beneath it she was still the same sweet and gentle person he had married. It was the unremitting pain and the drug which had ravaged her so, and he tried to maintain his respect and affection for her.

He tried to remember her loveliness, as delicate and ethereal as the bloom on the petals of a new-blown rose, but that loveliness had long since disappeared and the petals of the rose had withered, and the smell of corruption was upon her. The sweet sickly smell of the drug exuded from every pore of her skin and the deep never-healing abscesses in her buttocks and at the base of her spine gave off an odour, faint but penetrating, that he had come to abhor. It made it difficult for him to be near her. The smell and the sight of her offended him but at the same time filled him with helpless pity and corrosive guilt at his infidelity to her.

She had wasted to a skeleton. There was no flesh on the bones of those frail legs, they looked like the legs of one of the wading water birds, perfectly straight and shapeless, distorted only by the lumpy knots of her knees and the useless disproportionately large feet at their extremities.

Her arms were just as thin, and the flesh had receded from the bones of her skull. Her lips had drawn back so that her teeth were prominent and exposed, and looked like those of a skull when she tried to smile or more often grimaced with anger, and her gums were pale, almost white.

Her skin also was pale as rice-paper, and as dry and lifeless, so thin and translucent that the veins of her hands and forehead showed through it in a blue tracery and her eyes were the only living things in her face. They had a malicious glitter in them now, as though she resented him for his healthy lusty body when her own was destroyed and useless.

How can you, Blaine? she asked the question with the same accusing high-pitched whine that she had used countless times before. 'You promised me, Blaine. God knows, I see little enough of you as it is. I've been looking forward to this weekend since,, It went on and on, and he tried to shut it out, but he found himself thinking of her body again.

He had not seen her unclothed in almost seven years, then only a month previously he had walked into her dressing-room believing that she was in the gazebo in the garden where she spent most of her day, but she was laid out naked on the white sheet of the massage table with her uniformed day nurse working over her and the shock must have shown clearly on his face as the two women looked up at him, startled.

Every rib stood out of Isabella's narrow chest and her breasts were empty pouches of skin that drooped under her armpits. The dark bush of her pubic hair was incongruous and obscene in the bony basin of her pelvis below which those sticklike legs protruded at a disjointed angle, so shrunken that the gap between her thighs was wider than the span of his hands.

Get out! she had screamed at him, and he had torn his eyes from her and hurried from the room. Get out! Don't ever come in here again! Now her voice had the same ring to it. Go to your picnic then, if you must. I know what a burden I am to you. I know you can't bear to spend more than a few minutes in my presence, He could not stand it any longer, and he held up a hand to quieten her. You are right, my dear. It was selfish of me to even mention it. We won't speak of it again. Of course I will go with you. He saw the vindictive sparkle of triumph in her eyes, and suddenly for the very first time he hated her, and before he could prevent himself, he thought, Why doesn't she die? It would be better for her and everybody about her if she were dead. instantly he was appalled at himself and guilt washed over him so that he went to her quickly and stooped over the wheelchair, took that cold bony hand in both of his and squeezed it gently as he kissed her on the lips.

Forgive me, please, he whispered, but unbidden the image of her in her coffin appeared to him. She lay there, beautiful and serene as she had once been, her hair once again thick and lustrous auburn spread on the white satin pillow. He shut his eyes tightly to try and drive the image away, but it persisted even when she clung to his hand.

Oh, it will be such fun to be alone together for a while. She prevented him pulling away. We have so few opportunities to talk any more. You spend so much time in Parhament, and when you aren't about your cabinet duties you are out on the polo field. I see you every day, morning and evening. Oh, I know, but we never talk. We haven't even discussed Berlin yet, and the time is running out. Is there much we should discuss, my dear? he asked carefully as he disengaged her grip and returned to his own chair on the opposite side of the gazebo.

Of course there is, Blaine. She smiled at him, exposing those pale gums behind shrunken lips. It gave her a cunning, almost ferrety, expression which he found disturbing. There are so many arrangements to make. When is the team leaving? I may not travel with the team, he told her carefully. I may leave a few weeks earlier and stop off in London and Paris for discussions with the British and French Governments before going on to Berlin. Oh Blaine, we must still make the arrangements for me to go with you, she said and he had to control his expression for she was watching him carefully.

Yes, he said. It will need careful planning. The idea was insupportable. How he longed to be with Centaine, to be able to get away from all pretence and fear of discovery. We shall have to be very certain, my dear, that travelling will not seriously impair your health further. You don't want me with you, do you? Her voice rose sharply.

Of course It's a wonderful chance for you to get away from me, to escape from me. Isabella, please calm yourself. You will do yourself Don't pretend you care about me, I've been a burden on you for nine years. I'm sure you wish me dead. Isabella, He was shaken by the accuracy of the accusation.

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